Dance party

Hey there baby boy ( no, we still haven't figured out your name yet). I have been slacking a bit on here but I am here now. The past few weeks have been busy, Christmas and new year have come and gone. Daddy and I went to AZ to go to our cousin Chantel's wedding and spend sometime with the Saunders side of the family. Our trip was fun, and eventful to say the least, while we were there your Great Grandma Saunders (what a hoot she is!) got gallstones and had to spend sometime in the hospital, she had surgery and as far as we know as of today she is doing well; such a strong woman at 82 years old! We had fun seeing everyone, and I got to meet everyone for the first time really, at least got to know them all better.

Anyway I can feel you moving around, and throwing some dance parties in my belly now. It is truly a weird feeling, I am looking forward to the movements being much stronger and prominent (but not at the same time haha). I am still getting sick a bit, hopefully I don't have to go the rest of the 21 weeks being sick until you arrive.
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I think I will try to add a few major headlining history facts in here the next blogs here on out.
* Our President Barak Obama is trying  (unfortunately succeeding) on banning high capacity magazines for rifles. *This does not sit well with our family's beliefs, and or our country's constitution.*
* Lance Armstrong *a bicyclist* has confessed to doping (this news is not important to me but it  is a very big headliner at the moment) even as much as doping is VERY wrong the man has has helped raise over 500million dollars for cancer.

How far along: 18 weeks 6 days

Maternity clothes:  Yes, I have to wear stretchy pants, I finally bought a pair of jeans!

Stretch marks: Well I already had some, and yes I am already seeing some new red ones, I don't even care honestly I will never flaunt my tummy to the world so it doesn't matter to me.  

Sleep: I have more energy, still not a ton but more than I did int he beginning. 

Best moment this week: Seeing and spending time with family

Miss anything: Not much, I kinda enjoy food making me sick because i don't want to gain too much weight.

Morning sickness: On and off, I made it a whole week with out vomiting (even if I litterally swallowed or choked on some) then the past 2 days I have puked 

Movement: Yup, surely have

Symptoms: Food aversions, lack of appetite

Food cravings: French frys and ketchup
Anything making you queasy or sick: ANYTHING IN A TO GO BOX. Especially in the car, and the smell of some food cooking, smell of brown sugar, thought of eating, rotten tomatos in the fridge, uhmmmm breathing sometimes haha

Have you started to show yet: I think so, not sure what others think, daddy says yes.

Gender prediction: Boy

Labor signs: No

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I have had a few moments where I am emotional/

Looking forward to: mine and Daddy's trip to FL and cruise to the Bahamas!!.

slugs, snails, and puppy dog tails

Oh BOY!!!!!

Baby Saunders,
Daddy and I were excited to find out who you were yesterday, and we are thrilled you are a little BOY. Mommy is a bit scared because I have NO IDEA what to do with little boys, you'll see one day there are girls, girls, girls everywhere on the Gray side of the family, including your 3 cousins who are so excited to meet you. Auntie T is really excited (and  bit bummed for herself) that you are boy, I have no doubt at all you will be incredibly spoiled, you are the first boy in the family on mommy's side, like EVER! Papa Gray is really stoked too, I even saw him hug daddy last night when we revealed your gender! You are a silly stubborn boy already, when we went to take a peak to see who you were you did NOT hide it, you flaunted it right from the get go and then showed us about 10 more times before yawning and rolling over so that the tech couldn't get a shot of your head or face. Grandpa Saunders called begging for me to tell him what you are, so I told him the Saunders name will carry on, I couldn't make them wait til Christmas. We told everyone on mommy's side of the family you were a boy by filling cupcakes with blue whip cream so that when everyone bit in they saw the color blue and knew you were a boy, Auntie Debra's reaction was by far my favorite (aside from papa hugging daddy), she squealed and stomped her feet in excitement.Auntie Tee didn't say much, I think she kinda wanted to cry (she said she might) , she wants a boy of her own, but is blessed with 3 beautiful girls. Grandma Gray said "WHATTT, what do we do with it?!?" I kind of feel the same way, but I know it will be fun and an adventure when you get here to figure out how to do the boy thing. I have your room picked out (hopefully we can find a new house before you're here) but I hope you like superheros (I am sure you will, your daddy does.) We are throwing names around, Daddy and I both like Odysseus, but because it means "angry, or wrath" I feel it is unfair to you to give you that name. Mommy REALLY likes Sawyer, daddy shes NO WAY. We also like Parker, Preston, and Orion. I have a feeling you will be named Parker. We were trying to figure out how to incorporate Papa's name since he is a 3rd so that his name can live on a little so I said Parker Semi...and realized when you say that out loud that it sounds like someone saying "park your semi" so that is NOT happening but maybe Parker Gray Saunders. I think that sounds okay, you will definitely learn how to write the letter "R" with that name. Well I am heading to bed now, hopefully I will get to sleep since its 1:15am

How far along: 15weeks

Maternity clothes:  Yes, I have to wear stretchy pants, I need maternity pants because my yoga pants are even getting snug.

Stretch marks: Well I already had some, and yes I am already seeing some new red ones, I don't even care honestly I will never flaunt my tummy to the world so it doesn't matter to me.  

Sleep: I am down to minimal naps but by 6pm I am burned out, but then go to bed around 9:30 and can't sleep hence the 1:15am blog.

Best moment this week: Definitely seeing you, and finding out you were a boy!

Miss anything: Not much, I kinda enjoy food making me sick because i don't want to gain too much weight.

Morning sickness: On and off, more on lately, I mean hello...I puked over a rotten tomato in the fridge today.

Movement: Not 100% but pretty sure I have felt a few little butterflies.

Symptoms: Food aversions, lack of appetite

Food cravings: French frys and ketchup
Anything making you queasy or sick: ANYTHING IN A TO GO BOX. Especially in the car, and the smell of some food cooking, smell of brown sugar, thought of eating, rotten tomatos in the fridge, uhmmmm breathing sometimes haha

Have you started to show yet: I think so, I can't tell if I just look bloated or if my tummy is getting rounder.

Gender prediction: Boy

Labor signs: No

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I have had a few moments where I am moody that I know of, but ask Grandma and she will tell you I have been cranky. I haven't felt cranky that much.

Looking forward to: Christmas.

GAG attacks

Hello everyone, and baby Saunders.

The past few weeks have been flying by, I am not 13 weeks and 2 days along in the pregnancy. Dear baby you liked making me puke almost everyday for a few weeks, then you tricked me into thinking I was over being sick and the past few days you have made me gag A LOT! It's okay I will still love you, guess it's just your fun way of saying "hi mommy". You daddy isn't very nice though when it comes to you making me feel icky, he likes to chant "puke puke puke" when I am gagging, or he will snicker at me while I am heaving over the toilet. ( His argument is invalid ;) he will tell everyone "it was only once") I think it is way too early but I SWEAR I felt you move the other night it was one of the WEIRDEST feelings on earth! You really don't like almonds, and fish. You do however like fries with ketchup (mommy likes hers with ranch not ketchup usually). I can't wait to see you again and find out who you are in there, I am hoping you're a little princess, but we all are betting you're a little prince.

Today is a very exciting day for Mommy, today I am going through the Temple for my endowments, I am nervous but super excited! I only hope one day you will follow in your daddy and I's foot steps and have a great love for the church and faith in Christ! Also this coming week Mommy and Daddy are going through the San Diego Temple and we are being sealed, it is such a blessing to know we can do it before you arrive, and that you will be sealed to us forever and all eternity!

How far along: 13weeks 2 days

Maternity clothes:  I  bought some already because I feel so BLEEEHHH in my clothes and my clothes are just not fitting comfortable. Mainly wearing yoga pants and t-shirts though.

Stretch marks: Well I already had some, and yes I am already seeing some new red ones, I don't even care honestly I will never flaunt my tummy to the world so it doesn't matter to me.  I do notice if I rub pure coconut oil on it feels less itchy throughout the day.

Sleep: I can't get enough! But I have been able to make it through the day without a nap.

Best moment this week: It is coming tonight when I go through the Temple!!.

Miss anything: Not really, I think soon I will miss sleeping on my belly.

Morning sickness: Off and on, random without warning gagging or puking..

Movement: Not sure, I think so.

Symptoms: Food aversions, lack of appetite

Food cravings: French frys and ketchup
Anything making you queasy or sick: ANYTHING IN A TO GO BOX. Especially in the car, and the smell of some food cooking

Have you started to show yet: I wish but I just feel bloated, however Auntie Tee says I am starting to look pregnant in my shape.

Gender prediction: Boy

Labor signs: No

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I had one break down ALL DAY a few weeks ago, I cried over cereal, the christmas tree and just everything.

Looking forward to: Hopefully not puking again! Our next Dr. visit Monday and our Temple Sealing on 12.12.12

Oh baby, baby

We are expecting, yaaayyy just short of our 1 year anniversary we discovered I am PREGNANT! I am still waiting for it to sink in, we've heard the heart beat and have seen our little bean but I am still waiting for it to feel real ( because puking isn't real enough haha) Anyway I am going to make this short today I stole this little survey and I will use it for the rest of my blogs. I also love the cute pinterest idea of the chalk board so I will be doing that too!

How far along: 10weeks 4 days

Maternity clothes:  I  bought some already because I feel so BLEEEHHH in my clothes and my clothes are just not fitting comfortable. Mainly wearing yoga pants and t-shirts though.

Stretch marks: Well I already had some, and yes I am already seeing some new red ones, I don't even care honestly I will never flaunt my tummy to the world so it doesn't matter to me.  I do notice if I rub pure coconut oil on it feels less itchy throughout the day.

Sleep: I can't get enough! I go to bed around 8-10pm wake up somewhere between 7-9a and then I HAVE to take a nap around 1:30 for like 2 hours...

Best moment this week: Going to Mexico for a week with my hubby to celebrate our anniversary and now home to celebrate his bday tonight.

Miss anything: I thought maybe sushi, well I ate COOKED sushi yesterday and BLEH threw it all up on my plate in the restaurant....I've never been so embarrassed

Morning sickness: I have felt bleh but nothing too bad, except the sushi puke and today I drank ginger ale and ate half an orange and bleeh up it came about 10 minutes later..

Movement: Not yet

Symptoms: Food aversions, lack of appetite, and SOO SLEEPY

Food cravings: I wanted blueberry pancakes for a few days and then green apples with vanilla greek yogurt but nothing else really craving wise, some things sound good until I look at it.
Anything making you queasy or sick: ANYTHING IN A TO GO BOX. Especially in the car.

Have you started to show yet: I wish I could say no but even my own hubby and mom say you can tell. BOO!

Gender prediction: Boy

Labor signs: No

Belly button in or out: In

Wedding rings on or off: On

Happy or Moody most of the time: I've been okay I have had a few snaps but nothing crazy yet no crying for no reason or anything yet.

Looking forward to: Hopefully not puking again! Our next Dr. visit in 2 weeks!!!Thanksgiving dinner (if I don't puke it up). Also our Temple Sealing on 12.12.12

Custom Fat suit

Okay, this is going to be yet another rant blog, so if you don't want to hear it please don't continue reading :) thanks.
Well finally after waiting for a long while I have finally got my MRI, I picked up my report today. Of course it states that my c6-7 disc is bulged (yeah I knew this) good news is, it SHOULD be treatable as it has been in the past, and other good news is, in the report it specifically states it is not effecting my spinal cord *thank GOD!* I can rest somewhat easier. Anyways, I was talking crying to my hubby the other night about how I am starting to feel depressed I don't have any motivation and or motive to get up during the day, I am gradually beginning to hate myself, the way I look and the way I feel. I feel so helpless/hopeless I can't do anything physical so I clean my house all day or do laundry, I literally can't do anyting physical with my limitations on working out, and even the "simple" act of sex ends with my neck,shoulder, or head hurting :(. I feel so cooped up (no one is making me but I feel like I am caged). I need something to do I think I am going to try to get a job again because I think it will be something to keep me busy, but I don't know where I can go work that I will be able to sit or stand as needed, because either at a prolonged period of time HURTS. To add to my frustration of feeling so crappy about me lately, I got this image

  All I see in this image is me INSIDE of me..it truly is hard not to cry when I see this, I see a perfect muscular structure encased with sooo much FAT, it disgusts me, what makes it so difficult to look at this is knowing there is NOTHING I can do about it at the moment, aside from eating well. I don't want to take hormones, or prescriptions, or pills to "fix" this I want to workout, sweat, and earn that inner me, but it's so unobtainable right now with my limitations set by the doctors. I wish there was A miracle that would just make me thin HEALTHY

I don't have much else to talk about right now I am going to go, I am going to go to PT tomorrow and see if they can't help me get the neck, shoulder 4 day pinching headache relieved for me some and give them the MRI images. Hopefully I can start a program soon and get some relief and results!

sitting, waiting, wishing

okay, so it appears I am out for a long count. i went to my doctor who has worked on my neck and back the past five years. normally i go in he adjusts my back and neck, well today he told me he would not touch my neck. he asked if i have experienced any trauma in the past six months ,which i have not but i guess if he hadnt known any better he would guess i did. soooooo as he is doing his consultation he is testing out my shoulder which has been killer lately, and he said its actually fine but my neck isnt, i made the actual appt to request an mri for my shoulder and neck....anyway he said if i werent requesting it he would have suggested it anyway...so anyways i pretty much begged him to pop my back, so he did and as he was i asked him if my hip, knee, and ankle pain could be from my neck...his response was that more than likely, and that my bulged disks may be pressing into my spinal cord....Omg scary....so at the moment i am trying my hardest to not stress about it until my mri, if i do its going to just cause me more tension and more tension is just going to irriatate the disk area.... i am praying its not anywhere near my spinal cord, im pretty scared, although he didnt seem overly concerned with telling me it could be swelling into it...sigh... guess insanity may never happen again...at this time i was told veeeerrryy low impact, so looks like the pool will become my walking partner... sorry this whole thing has even worse than usual puncuation, my phone will only let me hit . and , wont even let me cap a letter....well i will kepp ya all posted, after the mri.

Broken hearted

Okay, so as you may know I started physical therapy for my shoulder pains.... Well it's been 2 weeks and to start out I was told by my therapist I could do INSANITY but not do the burpies( shoot I will take whatever excuse I can to not have to do burpies/suicide jumps) anyways I did my fit test and measurements which I will include here; I went to therapy this week and apparently I was super inflammed, and was told to refrain from ANY physical activity not just INSANITY... I wanted to cry. As the past few days went by I got soooooo bored at home all day, it's amazing when you're told you CAN NOT do something how much more you actually want to do it. I had therapy again today and I actually cried avery little when i was told I can not go kayaking this weekend, I don't kayak a whole lot but it's so nice out and I was looking at my kayak and just really really wanted to do a lake day with Josh and Baxter our puppy who loves water. Anyways that big fat NO was so heart breaking, I feel so helpless not being able to do anything, and because I started losing weight and looooovveeee INSANITY and now can't do it, I just feel lost. :( so I wont be posting too many updates any time too soon. I am going to continue healthy eating habits and walk as often as possible, the last thing I want to do is gain back the 9 lbs I worked so hard to lose. I was told I can do squats and belt kicks but I had to modify the moves so that my arms aren't swinging. This is not all shoulder deep though... If you read my about me on here you will recall me talking about my neck injury from when I was 9, well everything is stemming off of that injury at the moment, but at the same time 3 seperation injuries; my neck, shoulder, and apparently my elbow. I will refrain from any activity I'm told to refrain from until further notice I want to get better. (If that is possible) so my physical activity today consisted of raising a broom handle over my head 20 times, bench pressing it 20 times and twisting it in front of me 20 times, neck stretches, traction, and getting my shoulder/neck dug into with a metal tool by the therapist... At this point I wish I hadn't gone in at all, maybe I would still be doing my INSANITY to my limits. Oh almost forgot 50 squats and 20 belt kicks before I went in ( yes before I had approval, I had to do some thing) Okay as of4/20 my measurements and such Belly 44.5 (+.5in)I blame PMS Chest 45.25 (-2.75) again I blame PMS L bicep 15 (-1in) R bicep 15 -(1in) Waist 38.5 (-1.75) Hips/butt 50.25 (-1in) L thigh 29 (-.75in) R thigh 28.5 (-1in) L calf 18 (+.5in) R calf 17.5 (same) Underboob 39 (+.25) Neck 14 (-.5) Weight 220 (+5 lbs) blaming PMS I weighed in today at 217 These numbers truly make me sad, I guess that's what happens when you take a week off.. Fit test Switch kicks 41 on right (+2) Power jacks 31 (+12) Power knees 80 (+18) Power jumps 22 (+8) Globe jumps 10 (+5) Suicide jumps 0 per therapist Push up jacks 20 high plank (+ 12) Low plank oblique 33 (+21) Definitely got stronger, but at the same time evidently weaker in my neck and shoulder... I hope to be returning VERY soon full force, and when I do INSANITY is going to be mine again, non stop!